Well, that is what I used to think. Recently I moved into my own place in Miracle Mile(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miracle_Mile,_Los_Angeles). The apartment is retro and cute. Very spacious. Quiet Building. Great Neighborhood. Plenty of Storage. Afforable Rent. It is really a dream come true...except for the parking. You see in my quest for roommate independence I had to make one small sacrifice. I gave up my sweet underground parking in my old building for street parking.
I know it's not like I live in Minneapolis and have to shovel my PT Cruiser out of 3 feet of snow or in Phoenix where my hands would melt if I touched the steering wheel. Instead, every night I get to play Sherlock Holmes searching for parking with a magnifying glass. What is frustrating is that I have paid for a parking pass for my street, but so have 8000 other people in the apartment buildings that populate the 2 blocks of my street between 3rd and 6th. I can park on 3rd or 6th (if there are spaces available) but then I'd have to move my car at 7am (anti-gridlock zone), which I have done many times in the 6 weeks that I have lived here, but then I spend time searching for parking during morning rush hour not to mention my walk of shame to and from my car in PJs, glasses and whatever mismatched footwear I manage to get on my feet. Don't even get me started on the trials and tribulations of this Herculean task on street cleaning days.
Now, I have lived in Los Angeles for almost my entire life. I am fiercely loyal when it comes to defending my hometown against nay-sayers who criticize my fair city and say that it is full of A-holes, the people are rude, the traffic is horrible, blah blah blah. My response is "Well, if it sucks so bad, then just freaking leave. It's just one less kvetchy douche bag for me to worry about on the 405." That idea was definitely formed before I was forced to live and die by public parking.
You would figure that everyone else on my street would feel my same plight and try and be considerate about the lack of parking situation and try to maximize the number of spaces for people to utilize...uh, that would be a big fat negative, nein, nyet, nope. Instead, the people on my street park worse than an 90-year old grandma trying to squueze a 1973 Lincoln Continental into a compact space at a mall.
They park 5-feet from a driveway and only leave room for half a car to fit in between their bumper and a red zone. They park in the middle of a section of street so no car will fit on either side of their car between two driveways. They will park 3-feet from a curb at an angle so even if there is room to park, you can't swing your car in without clipping theirs. Believe me, it's not because I am some girly girl that can't parallel park. I did event production for almost a decade. I can parallel park a 24-foot moving truck on the left hand side of a one way street in between two Faberge eggs. What I can't do is lift a 2-ton Honda Accord and push it forward 3-feet to make my Chrysler fit. Everytime I get out of the car I make sure I am pulled forward (or back) as far as I can to make as much room as possible for another car. It is my daily good samaritan act.
Unfortunately my neighbors are not learning by example and I am growing increasingly frustrated. I am at the point where I am ready to start serving up my own brand of "Vig-Jew-Lante Justice". I found a website called http://www.youparklikeanasshole.com/ where you can printout fake "parking tickets" with asshole infractions you can check-off. While it's is an amusing concept, this means I need to print out these fake tickets and have them in my purse with a pen and go up and down the street continually like a meter-maid. Not exactly the best use of my time for a person by person temporary solution.
My newest (and I think best) idea is to attempt a somewhat of an Anthroplogical experiment. I think it will cost me about $10 and an hour of my time. I just need a proverbial "partner in crime" (because I think my idea may actually be illegal and I need an extra set of hands). I remember reading a story a few years back about a guy so frustrated with the lack of signage on the 110 Freeway that he created his own and actually attached it to a real freeway sign. It looked perfect and was effective and no one knew it was unauthorized until he revealed it a full year later. (http://www.good.is/post/the-fake-freeway-sign-that-became-a-real-public-service/) This is my parking version of a freeway sign.
I want to take a tape measure and a can of white spray paint and make regulation length parking spaces on my street. Yes, this is how Nerds solve their problems, with tape measures and T-Squares. I am curious to see if the citizens of Miracle Mile will fall in step a la Dead Poet's Society and actually park within the lines. If they don't at least I will go down swinging and will have earned my right to bitch and moan about the horrible people in LA. But, if by chance they actually do, then I will Project Runway myself up a dork-a-tard and cape and start carrying an old school ghetto blaster on my shoulder, because as I learned from one of my favorite movies, "I'm Gonna Git You Sucka"... every good super-hero needs theme music.
Applications for my "Robin/Tanto/Kato" can be found here: http://tinyurl.com/5vxn26t
